Remote Controls....

I would love to have a remote control for life... to fast foward the shit times... and rewind the good times to live them over and over again. Or maybe to pause a moment in time that is just perfect.

THE WIFE REMOTE CONTROL
Now THIS would be handy ;-)

Is the 'f word' socially acceptable?

Hmmm... just relaxing at home on Sunday night waiting for the Singapore F1s to start... which will no doubt make me feel homesick. Was gonna write a quick blog on funny named towns... I've heard some classics over the years... Muff, Dildo and Accident come to mind LOL. While I was googling for a funny pic to post... I stumbled across this newspaper article that I found absolutely hilarious.

I really want to travel here so much
But I need a FUCKING MAP!

The Big Smoke

The Happy Traveller hasn't really talked about travel very much lately. So here is my TOP TWO list of BIG CITY's IN THE WORLD!!

BEST MODERN
1 Sydney- ok Im biased, but its one of the worlds show pony cities.
2 Singapore- has a bit of everything, and such a fantastic vibe.
BEST HISTORICAL
1 Prague- for the medievil architecture, and its lost in time
2 Lucerne- so quaint, plus endless good cafes and restuarants
MOST EXPENSIVE
1 Paris- $30 for an omlette
2 London- $7 for a beer... and its warm.
CHEAPEST
1 Siem Riep- $4 for a hotel room
2 Ho Chi Minh- $8 for a massage (read REGULAR)
MOST CLEAN
1 Singapore- it has no peer.
2 Singapore- see above.
MOST DIRTY
1 Mumbai- oh my god whats that smell.
2 Rome- away from the sites, it's a real dump
MOST FRIENDLY
1 Port Villa- the most non assuming people on the planet
2 Phuket- ultra laid back, everyone is happy happy yo yo
MOST EASY TO GET AROUND
1 Honolulu- cant beat $1 bus rides to anywhere on the island
2 Paris- the Metro is hard to master but brilliant to use
HARDEST TO GET AROUND
1 Manilla- 2 hours to get anywhere, its a 24 hour traffic jam
2 Los Angeles- I can walk faster than you can drive
WHERE I FEEL MOST SAFE
1 Phuket- because its my second home
2 Singapore- because it reminds me so much of Sydney
WHERE I FEEL MOST ON EDGE
1 Manilla- armed parking attendants!
2 Manilla- does anyone NOT have a gun here.
WHERE I CANT REMEMBER MUCH
1 Amsterdam- can anyone actually remember Amsterdam?
2 Edinborugh- why did I wake up in the Aussie flag?
MOST BORING
1 Frankfurt- ok can we go now. oh whats that... another bank.
2 Auckland- I would rather watch paint dry
BEST FOR PEOPLE WATCHING
1 Patong- for the culture shock and "what the" moments
2 New York- why is everyone in such a hurry
COLDEST
1 Montreal- buy some thermal undies
2 Toronto- you'll need them here too
BEST NIGHTLIFE
1 Patong- it has the Open Bar. My home away from home.
2 Barcelona- just love buzz of La Ramblas
MOST SPECTACULAR SKYLINE
1 Hong Kong- jawdropping when viewd from the harbour
2 Singapore- the view of the skyline from Boat Quay is awesome
MOST OVER RATED
1 Los Angeles- the only good thing here is Pirates of the Carribean
2 London- timeless and has its charm, but not all its cracked up to
WHERE I WOULD TAKE MY MOTHER
1 Venice- she'd cruise the canals all day
2 Florence- just cause I know she'd love it
WHERE I WOULDN'T TAKE MY MOTHER
1 Bangkok- ladyboys and ping pongs. enough said.
2 Patong- she'd worry about me too much

Last Week...

My best blonde moment last week:
* Losing my toothbrush... then being too lazy to buy a new one... which then led to me cleaning my teeth with my finger... which then led to me feeling the need to post this experience on Facebook

My most embarassing moment last week:
* Accidently walking into a pole in a restaurant filled with people

What shitted me last week:
* Japanese Whalers. Seriously... your whaling due to scientific research routine is getting REALLY f***** old.

Meal I enjoyed the most last week:
* Garlic Prawns.. freshly cooked on the BBQ. Yum :)

What I was most happy with last week:
* Finally getting to 60 sit-ups... without cheating

Next post I will try to make interesting....
SOMEWHAT ;-)

Funny Signs

Some of the signs Ive seen in my travels have had me on the verge of losing all bowel control... esp the Thai ones. They are SOOOOO funny cus they aren't actually intended to be funny... its just the Thai style of writing can make you giggle like an idiot. My last trip to Thailand, I was sitting at a bar having dinner with my friend Nick. I wanted a coke. So looking at the menu... this is what we see:
SMALL COCK: 30 baht
LARGE COCK: 50 baht
DIET COCK: 50 baht
We couldn't stop laughing for 10 minutes... clearly I ordered a Sprite instead ;)

GOODNIGHT WORLD :-)

Year of the Tiger- 1974

CHINESE ZODIAC: THE TIGER
One of the most dynamic signs in the Chinese Zodiac, Tigers are fascinating. They are patient but hot-tempered, calm but naughty, free spirits but fiercely loyal. Tigers are always well-liked by others and easily earn the respect of friends with their natural gift of enthusiasm. This endless supply of energy can make Tigers very impulsive and their care free nature can sometimes lead them into trouble. What makes Tigers such magnetic people is the absolute loyalty and affection they show for people they love. Tigers are fearless when standing up for others and will accept any challenge if it means protecting somebody they love or protecting their honour. They don’t worry about who wins or loses because Tigers know they will always land on their feet. But don’t let their calm appearance fool you.... Tigers will bite when they feel its necessary. They will never give up on life. Even if there is only one spark left, a Tiger will try to make it fire their life. Their spirits never die and they always lift the spirits of even the most lonely people they meet. Because of this Tigers have no problem making new friends. Like the Dragon and the Monkey, Tigers are most comfortable around friends and family. They will be completely honest about how they feel but demand the same of you. Friends are always welcome in a Tigers home and are always greeted with a smile, an ear, a tissue, an open mind and an open wallet. Few friends could be as caring, affectionate, as quirky and surprising, or as genuinely interested as the Tiger friend. They are spontaneous lovers who never lose their creative spark or flare for an evening of passion. They offer their partner a hint of danger and show a curiosity for the unknown. Tigers are full of enthusiasm and sentiment, so falling in love with a Tiger will bring you lots of memorable experiences. They like to travel long distances conquering thrills and fears along the way. Never the homebody, Tigers prefer activity and excitement but can easily be coaxed into relaxing by the ocean with a book. They leave on a whim and return when they are ready to plan their next holiday. Tigers are not motivated by money or power; and will only do things because they enjoy them. Some suitable careers for Tigers include: artist, travel agent, writer, pilot, comedian or flight attendant.

Kanchanaburri... Thailand :-)

Huh??? Go to sleep... NOW!!

You know what... due to sleep deprivation Im in one of those playfully stupid moods... honestly a bomb could go off beside me tonight and I wouldnt care less. Hmmm what to write about?

I did have a really good idea for a post... but I'm too spasticated to think of it. Probably, I will remember it long after my head has just hit the pillow tonight. Awwww dont you just hate mind blanks. Like when you're chatting to a mate on the phone and you cant remember the name of a actor in a movie... even though you KNOW who was in the movie. And then of course the moment you hang up the phone... BANG... you remember!! And then you really really need to call your mate back and yell out 'Hey I've got it... it was Hugh Jackman!!' What else can I write about.... hmmm sleeping when its raining... LOVE IT!! Actually I try hard to stay awake just to listen to the rain on the roof. But falling asleep always seems to ruin the experience. 

Hmmm I've got a sudden desire to delete this post cus its just too stupid for anybody to understand. LOL honestly I don't care. Ok... going to bed... this post is going down fast. Ooooh wait you know what... I was going to write about Emirates and their innovative stars on the cabin roof they have on-board their aircraft. But somehow that didn't eventuate and everything in this post has just gone to absolute shit. Screw it LOL.... I'll just post the pic instead

Im gonna DELETE this in the morning!!

Tsunami Rescue Flight...

 
Its amazing how U can take away a kids pain...
Even if its just for a few seconds!

Favourites and Firsts

First thing that made me smile today:
*The middle aged grey haired jogger running past my house this morning wearing odd socks

Favourite thing to do:
*Laughing and making people laugh
*Flying... I love air travel esp take-offs and landings

Favourite Memory:
*Still yet to make it... hows that for optimistic hehe.

Where you want to be right now:
*On a Thai Airways flight playing games with cabin crew 

GOODNIGHT WORLD :-)